metfellinlove(youthink)emotionallydetachedyourselffrom'it'andthenitmakesanaffort'dontchangethewayyouare...changewhoyourwith'
developing the emotionless state of your mother!
am realising that feeling emotion whether it be good euphoric emotion or down and dispair - Emotions are Fab
They keep us in touch with our soul i believe - Or does it just mean we Have still GOT a soul.
Have with Pride - been through a few things in my life - which have chipped away but am Glad to say I have still got a soul
Have realised today that one has to ensure that we take time OUT to reflect on events in our lives...
Just got to master the art of not flying off the handle !!!
Over n out !!!
LIVE LOVE LAUGH MAKE IT FAB...
David Le Chappelle ...
Venus Fly Trap .. or.... How do you percieve this image...
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
Sunday, 3 October 2010
not a shoulda woulda coulda thing
How do we know what is the right thing to do.
Do we follow our hearts or our heads.
As a women I have followed my heart and it feel like ive made some wrong decisions. Take this blogging thing as a moment in time out pour - yes its my business and yes its my page.
Someone who once was 'that guy' to who soon became the ex to someone who knew I was with someone else, then decided he wanted me back more that ever - showered me with gifts, gucci, roses, phone calls and such like. Why did it have to take someone else to make u realise you wanted me.
Did you want to prove something to yourself in the way of - 'I can get her back'. Just to prove a point to himself? Was it all a game? This lead to me becoming sooo confused and had an effect on my emotional stableness and effected what I was already in - which is a shame really as he was lloovveellyyy..
Realness is hard to decifer these days, from relationships in all forms. From friends, to colleagues, men, women in every capacity. Why have things got like this? Everyone seems to have an ulterior motive. Wether it be men wooing a female into a sense of 'he really does like me' which translate I want to fuck her a few times until I find someone else who takes my fancy. To that get over get under situation but because we arent aware of the situation we arent even able to comprehend we are actually that get over get under. That isnt a situation ive been in recently but in the grand scheme of things I understand people don't lay their cards on the table all at once. But realness and sincerity seems like such a thing of the past its unreal.
With regards to matters of the heart - i guess im over guarded, insecure however - it may seem weak but on reflection I should of left him a long time ago, i was insecure because i didnt feel secure. Note to self for the future. .. I should have gathered my thoughts alone and reviewed the situation. Its only now I can see things for what they really are. Mad at myself for keeping you around ... FUCK YES.... Glad im shot of you Y.E.S.... I have things to do ... Not time to worry or ponder over shoulda woulda coulda... The guard is half up .. i dont want to end up a mean hard back women who has no emotions. Erghh
Do we follow our hearts or our heads.
As a women I have followed my heart and it feel like ive made some wrong decisions. Take this blogging thing as a moment in time out pour - yes its my business and yes its my page.
Someone who once was 'that guy' to who soon became the ex to someone who knew I was with someone else, then decided he wanted me back more that ever - showered me with gifts, gucci, roses, phone calls and such like. Why did it have to take someone else to make u realise you wanted me.
Did you want to prove something to yourself in the way of - 'I can get her back'. Just to prove a point to himself? Was it all a game? This lead to me becoming sooo confused and had an effect on my emotional stableness and effected what I was already in - which is a shame really as he was lloovveellyyy..
Realness is hard to decifer these days, from relationships in all forms. From friends, to colleagues, men, women in every capacity. Why have things got like this? Everyone seems to have an ulterior motive. Wether it be men wooing a female into a sense of 'he really does like me' which translate I want to fuck her a few times until I find someone else who takes my fancy. To that get over get under situation but because we arent aware of the situation we arent even able to comprehend we are actually that get over get under. That isnt a situation ive been in recently but in the grand scheme of things I understand people don't lay their cards on the table all at once. But realness and sincerity seems like such a thing of the past its unreal.
With regards to matters of the heart - i guess im over guarded, insecure however - it may seem weak but on reflection I should of left him a long time ago, i was insecure because i didnt feel secure. Note to self for the future. .. I should have gathered my thoughts alone and reviewed the situation. Its only now I can see things for what they really are. Mad at myself for keeping you around ... FUCK YES.... Glad im shot of you Y.E.S.... I have things to do ... Not time to worry or ponder over shoulda woulda coulda... The guard is half up .. i dont want to end up a mean hard back women who has no emotions. Erghh
Dec 2009
Consuming my life right now...
situation is going to be sorted out today... December 2009 - I am in the studio doing a voice over for an event - This guy walks in and im in the booth followed by a loud mouthed light skinned girl. When i finish my voice over I come out of the booth and sit down minding my own business. This big guy is sitting in a chair like hes the don carlion... of which hes not .. and hes not actually that big his jacket is lined and makes his torso look hugh but looking closer his legs are actually rather slim.
The female he's with his rabbitting on 100 words to the second and is an associate of one of my people. She's going on and on and im starting to get a headache not to mention the fact her voice is very very high pitched.
Im wearing a black dress with long sleeves and two gold buttons on either shoulder, tights, knee high flat leather boots, a leather jacket and a body warmer with a fur collar and my juicy day bag. Grandad hat at the ready.
Theres a slight air of arrogance and we lock eyes and he says 'hi' with a big smile and i reply 'hi' and proceed to ask my friend what are we doing as I want to get home - Im in Deep east London, its 8.30pm and I want to get back to West London... Got things to do !!!
The guy who runs the studio - moody miserable old shit says to me 'Lu, got some more work for you to do if you want it ... its paying'. My ears prick up and I think Ok now were talking the same language. 'Can I have your number please'....without giving it a 2nd thought im on it. I am quick to real off my mobile number and the studio manager pockets it. I didnt notice he slyly gate the guy in the black padded jacket with the big smile and skinny legs a quick glance. Wish I had.
Me D and C left the studio and jumped into C's car... enroute home.
'Booyyyy that girl can chatttt'.....said D.. C replies 'She was on me in Napa bruvvvv but I aired that, was too easy and shes not even all that...not my cup of tea fam .... her voice is jarring'...I remained silent ... gathering my thoughts as to what I was going to cook for dinner when I got home and if i needed to pick up and bits and pieces. It was December remember ... freezziinnggggg...didnt want to leave my house after getting in. Plan of action was ...Dinner on, quick tidy up, eat, bath, laptop on, then bed.
Was living in West London, a lovely ground floor flat with garden, needed a bit of TLC but im that hands on kinda girl just had to get the time to do it. Dean would probably be at home pffttt....he was always there. He was my boyfriend at the time, my heart wasnt in it. He knew it, I knew it and I told him. 'Just give it time babe, I dont want another girlfriend after you'. WOW Thats a bit too much for me right now. Dean liked being around me because I wasnt clingy, I was a challenge, independent but homely type. Looking back on it if he was a bit more confident it may (may) have worked.
'So you want to do some voice over work Lu - ....you know who that was in the chair dont you'....said D to me.
I reply ..'Never seen him before in my life... had a slight arrogance about him and that chick - wow she was moter mouth 2009 - was happy to see you C...Voice overs - yeah well see.'
Little did I know this was the beginning for a long, intense, rollercoaster ride for me.
Get it right
Facts and myths about men are alll over the place... But what about putting men straight about a few of our ',yths'...
Why do we love to shop....... A guy told me its because its the only place in the world we actually feel we have control in... So what about the kitchen...? He didnt even know where the bowls were kept!
Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people. - Are you guilty of that.... i recently dated a guy for quite a while and found everything I told a specific 'friend of mine' it would always end up coming back ... it got soo obvious I started feeding her with bullshit and it became a game... Be careful of women like me ladies ... The joke could all be on you
Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing - is ringing why not answer it!!! Where as men will hear the phone ring, take it out of his pocket, look at whos calling, smirk, and put it back in his pocket still ringing..??
Women think all beer is the same - how different can it get....
After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest. - is there anything wrong with that!!! NO
Why do we love to shop....... A guy told me its because its the only place in the world we actually feel we have control in... So what about the kitchen...? He didnt even know where the bowls were kept!
Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people. - Are you guilty of that.... i recently dated a guy for quite a while and found everything I told a specific 'friend of mine' it would always end up coming back ... it got soo obvious I started feeding her with bullshit and it became a game... Be careful of women like me ladies ... The joke could all be on you
Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing - is ringing why not answer it!!! Where as men will hear the phone ring, take it out of his pocket, look at whos calling, smirk, and put it back in his pocket still ringing..??
Women think all beer is the same - how different can it get....
After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest. - is there anything wrong with that!!! NO
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