not a shoulda woulda coulda thing

How do we know what is the right thing to do.

Do we follow our hearts or our heads.

As a women I have followed my heart and it feel like ive made some wrong decisions. Take this blogging thing as a moment in time out pour - yes its my business and yes its my page.
Someone who once was 'that guy' to who soon became the ex to someone who knew I was with someone else, then decided he wanted me back more that ever - showered me with gifts, gucci, roses, phone calls and such like. Why did it have to take someone else to make u realise you wanted me.
Did you want to prove something to yourself in the way of - 'I can get her back'. Just to prove a point to himself? Was it all a game? This lead to me becoming sooo confused and had an effect on my emotional stableness and effected what I was already in - which is a shame really as he was lloovveellyyy..

Realness is hard to decifer these days, from relationships in all forms. From friends, to colleagues, men, women in every capacity. Why have things got like this? Everyone seems to have an ulterior motive. Wether it be men wooing a female into a sense of 'he really does like me' which translate I want to fuck her a few times until I find someone else who takes my fancy. To that get over get under situation but because we arent aware of the situation we arent even able to comprehend we are actually that get over get under. That isnt a situation ive been in recently but in the grand scheme of things I understand people don't lay their cards on the table all at once. But realness and sincerity seems like such a thing of the past its unreal.
With regards to matters of the heart - i guess im over guarded, insecure however - it may seem weak but on reflection I should of left him a long time ago, i was insecure because i didnt feel secure. Note to self for the future. .. I should have gathered my thoughts alone and reviewed the situation. Its only now I can see things for what they really are. Mad at myself for keeping you around ... FUCK YES.... Glad im shot of you Y.E.S.... I have things to do ... Not time to worry or ponder over shoulda woulda coulda... The guard is half up .. i dont want to end up a mean hard back women who has no emotions. Erghh